Photographer: Simon Howden
I haven’t written anything in a longtime. I feel completely blocked and unmotivated. Although I do like cooler temperatures, this time of year isn’t one of my favorites. The days are shorter and the nights long. At 5:00 p.m. it feels like it’s time for bed. Perhaps I’m spoiled because I grew up in L.A – mild temperatures and lots of sunshine. In college, I used to take my accounting book to the beach; my roommate would bring along her business law book. We’d sip on ice tea and get a tan while doing our homework.
Why am I babbling away about this? I don’t know. I’m just in a weird space. It’s been dark and cloudy for the past three days. It finally rained a bit today and I feel nostalgic. I try not to think about the past because I cannot change it and I try not to think about the future because it hasn’t yet arrived. All I have is the present but sometimes when I’m not content with the present, my mind starts to travel back or leap forward.
Today for some odd reason or another, I feel a deep emptiness. I try hard to shake it but it doesn’t want to go away. I can’t really explain it. It’s just how I feel. I guess I need a vacation – at least a week away from everything where I can visit museums, inhale a new city and culture and have no responsibilities. Ahhh…that would be so great. Okay, so I just leaped to the future, thinking about all the possibilities of where I’d go and who I would go with…
Thank goodness for dreams because without them, life would be boring.