There is no time for death

I’m to go to a funeral. It’s for someone I really care about. It just happened so quickly right when I was trying to get all these things done before my father comes into town. I really want to spend time with him and so I need to get a bunch of stuff out of the way.

When I heard that she passed away, I got sad. I cried and remembered my mom passing away not too long ago. Then I started thinking about how I was going to find the time to pick out a basket of floral arrangements, look up two addresses on the mapquest on how to get there (I hate the GPS. It always gets me lost. Mapquest has worked for me 99.9% of the time), and spend more than half a day at the memorial and reception when I have so much to do.

Shame on me right? Of course I want to go pay my respect and mourn with the family. So, why the tug and pull? I know that nothing is real and meaningful in this life except the relationships we build with one another, but even then, it is so easy to get lost in the game we call life and lose all perspective.

I start to think about my own mortality. When I’m on my deathbed, will I be saying, “Not now. I don’t have time. I have so much work to do?” How ridiculous am I to think this way. I just have to keep reminding myself not to get caught up in unimportant temporary tasks. 

Nothing in this life is real except for human connections. Everything else that surrounds it is just fluff. So yes, from now on when there’s a funeral, I must slow down and make time for death just the same way I make time for life.

Meow Meow... Aaaah... Books

These lovely photos are by Libreria Fogola Pisa.

 
 

Reason why I joined Twitter Blackout

No matter what excuse anyone, any company or any government gives, censorship can never be justified. There is a time to compromise and time to have the guts to stand up for what is right. Twitter should have had the spine to stand up for freedom of speech even if it meant getting blocked in its entirety by oppressive regimes. By agreeing to censor certain tweets locally, twitter compromised every value it represented and disappointed its global users. When we sit in our warm cushy chairs in United States of America, it is easy to say, don’t worry; it’s much ado about nothing, but we must never forget those who live in countries whose rights are stolen by their government every day. Oftentimes, their only way of escape is through writing. If we take that away from them, even on a local level, we too have stolen from them.

I am a writer. I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t participate in twitter blackout. Accepting any from of censorship goes against every inch of my values, morals and principles. Governments, big businesses and a handful of billionaires/trillionaires start taking away people’s freedom gradually. First they get a population used to the idea, then they get them to agree to the small stuff and before people know it, many of their rights will be taken away. This is only the beginning. Caving to censorship will contribute to assassination of freedom of speech in years to come.

SOPA and PIPA are in violation of our constitutional rights. End Piracy, Not Liberty. Tell congress don't censor the web.

Photo Contributor: Idea go

NDAA violates the US Constitution and must be dissolved in its entirety

More than a month ago, I signed a petition complaining about the NDAA – National Defense Authorization act. A few weeks later, I received an email from California senator Barbara Boxer assuring me that she will do everything she can to assure the safety of “Americans.” The email disturbed me because I thought what about the safety of people who are not “Americans?”

Some time after that, I received another email from a well-known organization expecting me to applaud Senator Dianne Feinstein and other senators for introducing legislation to undo provisions of the NDAA, in the form of the Due Process Guarantee Act. This is what it said:

The Due Process Guarantee Act of 2011 amends the Non-Detention Act of 1971 by providing that a Congressional authorization for the use of military force does not authorize the indefinite detention—without charge or trial—of U.S. citizens who are apprehended domestically.

WOW!!!! These senators along with the organization asking me to sign on must think that the American Public is really stupid. I deleted the email because it didn’t deserve a response. A few days later I got another email asking why I didn’t join in and sign their petition and spread the good news through twitter and facebook. I decided to give them a piece of my mind. This is what I said:

The NDAA must be reversed in its entirety. By signing this, you are asking me to agree with the rest of the crap in the NDAA. I am absolutely against the NDAA in its entirety. And this statement that you emailed me and dear Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer agree with is an insult to my intelligence.

If apprehended domestically??  What does this mean? What if I happen to be visiting France or Germany? Then they can take me away for no reason and dump me in some foreign prison? And what about those who are not American citizens? They are human beings. There is no difference between an American and any other nationality. Humans are humans. We must care about all humanity. We must protect human rights no matter one's nationality. So I say No to the entire inhumane NDAA!

And to be honest, I hope that one day soon, the NDAA will bite back those who signed on to make it into law.

Merry Christmas Everyone

In the area where I live, it never snows unless you're willing to drive about an hour or so to outside the Los Angeles city limits towards the nearby mountains. And believe me, if anything looks remotely close to snow, Angelenos will be out with their cameras trying to capture the moment like a tourist who has just seen the Eiffel tower for the first time. The first year I moved here, it actually hailed. Me and my classmates were so excited as we ran outside, only to be hit by a whole bunch of ice balls. It was fun.

This year, My cousin and I decided to head out to the Grove/Farmers market for an early dinner while watching the fake snow, Christmas decorations, the trolley and Santa's house. There are two sections: The Farmers Market which has been around for years and the Grove which was added not long ago. Farmers Market is more flavorful and traditional with boutique shops and no frills eateries and the Grove is more modern with chain restaurants and stores, movie theaters and a large round water fountain which dances to Italian music. It's easy to spend an entire day there, but the parking can be pricy even with validation.

While there, I got inspired by my cousin's enthusiasm to take some photos. So, do enjoy and a Merry Christmas to all of you.  

On top of the movie theater behind me, there is a machine that spits out snow.

Moved my phone camera up for a better view.

I have no idea who is the man with a hood. I guess he was too tall for me to avoid him.

Last photo opp before we start walking towards the ginger cookie house.

Heading back. Taking a hurried shot before someone passes in front of my camera.

The crowd shifting in my direction.

Ginger cookie house where parents and children line up for a photo opp with Santa. 

Side view of the Trolley. It takes passengers from the west end/farmers market to the east end/grove. 

Last photo: The rear view of the trolley as it rings its bell for fun and for the crowd to move out of its way. 

The finality of death

Image by farconville

My mom passed away on July 13, 2011 and I have been so depressed that I haven’t written anything since then. It’s been very difficult dealing with her death, especially since I’m not all that religious. I was born a Muslim and I have no intention of changing into a different religion because I believe my character is not defined by religion, nationality, race, sex and etc. I am who I am, regardless. I am enough. I don’t need to defend myself to others and frankly I really don’t care what anyone thinks about me because those who love me, know the kind of pain-in-the-ass I am, but they also know that I am loyal and will always be there for them, no matter what.

Anyway, getting back to my concept of death - I suppose people who are religious or those who believe in after life, heaven, hell, souls, ghosts and things as such, have an easier time with death. I have been searching for an answer over and over, but to date, I have none. The truth is that nobody knows what happens after we die. I’m even skeptical of people who have had a near death experience and say they’ve seen light, tunnel and etc. I can’t help wonder that their stories was nothing but hallucination and a figment of their imagination based on the stories of what others have said. Bottom line, I don’t know. I’m not sure of much these days.

I was talking to my older cousin the other day and as usual we started to have an argument.

She said, “If there was no purpose and this was it, then everyone would start cheating, lying and killing each other.”

And I said, “people are already doing that; just look at all the leaders, politicians, CEOs and their friends.” 

She said, “Then how come you’re not going after someone’s blood?”

“Well…that’s because I have ethics, morals and principles. I am definitely flawed, but when I compare myself to the rest of people living in this world, I realize that I am a good person,” I replied.

“And how did you learn all those things?” she asked, goading me to blurt that it was my religion who taught me all those things.

“I didn’t learn it,” I responded. “It is inseparable from who I am and has nothing to do with religious beliefs. Some people have it, some just don’t and some sway in between. Besides, most killing and wars are done under the pretext of religion.”

After we hung up, I realized that my cousin’s fear was getting punished after she died. She was afraid that she was going to be judged and so, that’s why she tried so hard to be good.  Someone once asked me if I go to church on Sundays and I said no, I’d rather go out with my friends and have fun. She said, “well, some of us need to go to church. Some of us need guidance.” 

Anyhow, I’m not writing this to discuss religion or lack thereof; I’m just writing to ask the difficult questions. What if this is it? What if when we die, everything comes to a complete halt? What if there is no purpose to life. We are born, we live and then we die – end of story. And if this is the case, then everything in life becomes meaningless. If you spend your whole life building strong relationships with those around you and then suddenly that relationship ends completely because that person has passed away, isn’t life just a waste of time?

Someone long ago wrote, I’m so tired of living. At the time, I thought what a strange comment coming from someone so young. But now I understand the statement after losing my mom who was also my best friend. I feel like I have lost not one, but two of the most important people in my life. And when I sit down, lost in all the paperwork, bills and other responsibilities, I say, “I’m so tired of living.” But we’re all stuck here until one day, we too will go away. Where will we go? I have no idea. Most likely nowhere.